I have a friend called Alex. She’s one of my oldest and best friends. We both shared a love for movies throughout our teenage years, and went on to study film at university together. While I dropped out to pursue my pottery career (which isn’t going great guys, if I’m being honest with you), Alex stuck it out and got her degree. However, I’ve noticed some gaping holes in her movie literacy; namely, STAR WARS. SHE HASN’T SEEN STAR WARS.
Sure, she’s seen The Master of Disguise about 200 times (seriously Alex, you need to stop watching that movie), but it turns out she was never exposed to the awesomeness that is Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 and 6 as a kid. Obviously, I couldn’t let a film graduate get away with never seeing one of the best film trilogies ever made. We also couldn’t get away with watching one of the best film trilogies ever made without a decent amount of alcohol to drink throughout.
So, armed with our Princess Leia’s – a cocktail made of Bacardi or ‘Kessel Rum’ (haha get it), Sprite and a Wedge Antilles (haha GET IT) of lemon and lime – we embarked on a Star Wars marathon with a group of friends. What follows is the slightly inebriated account of A New Hope from someone who knows pretty much nothing about Star Wars.
R: Okay, Alex… can you please give me a brief synopsis of what happened in A New Hope?
A: Oh noooooo. Um. *pause* Oh my god, no. I’ve seen this before, and I still don’t know.
R: Yup.
A: …Is projected. And she says,
R: That does happen.
A: And then the thing…Ben…did he die?
R: Okay, you’re getting confused. How about we start with Luke.
A: he wants to go to the Academy. And his parents died. They were charred.
R: Okay, you say his parents died, despite him referring to them as his aunt and uncle numerous times.
A: He saw them like his parents.
R: And so then what happened.
A: and then he goes out and he looks at the moons… and then… Ben dies.
R: well he’s not dead yet. Luke goes with Ben on a ship.
A: What?
R: He goes with Ben onto a ship. Who does that ship?
R: So they’re on the Millenium Falcon, and they’re going to do what?
A: Save… the woman.
R: Where is she?
A: In the rubbish bin.
R: Okay, you mean the Death Star. So they go to the death Star, and they go in the trash compactor, and then…
A: Then there’s a worm.
R: Okay, let’s skip ahead; what do they do at the end?
A: Get married.
R: What do they do before they get married?
A: They defeat… no… they…
Other friend Cleo: (whispering) They blow up the Death Star…
R: (now yelling) Alex! You were watching, so intently!
Other other friend Sophie: This wasn’t even the first time you’ve watched it!
A: I was apprecianating it. (apprecianating?) I was appreciating it scene by scene but not in a narrative sense. There was a rally. A Nuremburg inspired rally. That’s right eh? The mis-en-scene at the end! At the wedding forward slash wedding ceremony. Luke had a good jacket. And Leia had a long plait.
R: And that’s what happens at the end of A New Hope. Did you enjoy it?
A: Yes.
R: Are you looking forward to the second movie? What do you think is going to happen next?
A: I’m hoping they’re all going to kiss.
R: And just more, you know, action and stuff?
A: Yes. And Jar Jar Binks.
R: No, Alex.
Come back on Wednesday to see what Alex thought of The Empire Strikes Back, as well as announce her new business venture:
