Killers (2010)

One thing you couldn’t accuse Killers of is false advertising – the bland poster perfectly encapsulates everything this film has to offer. First-billed Katherine Heigl is gingerly holding a gun and looking surprised – all she really does in the movie is get flustered by guns and gunfire.

Kutcher stands there looking pretty with an exasperated facial expression that seems to say “Come on!”, which is all he really does in the movie as well. And his superlative attractiveness is a repeated talking point among the other characters. Did I mention he is a producer on the film?

It’s saying something about Kutcher’s deficit of personality that he manages to make Heigl seem spirited and full of life – at least she has some relative screen presence – but despite her efforts, the chemistry between the pair falls flat.

The opening half hour in Nice, France is, er, nice to look at. But it promises an international flavour the film can’t sustain. Whatever germ of an idea kicked off this project has long since been flattened out and the utterly nonsensical resolution reeks of endless re-writes.

In terms of watchability, I have pretty low standards for comedies both action and romantic, but even I was tested by Killers’ gaping lack of a single distinguishing characteristic.