Review: ‘xXx: The Return of Xander Cage’ Bores

The xXx films have never promised high-brow cinema. Still, it comes as a something of a surprise to see Vin Diesel’s return as Xander Cage bring with it a stupendous amount of boredom alongside its expected silliness.

As Diesel struts his way through preposterous action sequences, embraces of lingerie-clad models, and eye-rolling one-liners (generally all good things) it’s striking how little fun anyone seems to be having. With the exception of Toni Collette, who pushes the boat out so far as Cage’s handler that sometimes even she seems surprised she’s allowed to be so hammy with her awful dialogue.

“Who cares?”, action fans will ask. If you’re just on board for ludicrous fights and stunt sequences, they do exist, but many fail to fire. Any time Donnie Yen is on screen, though, he enlivens proceedings, not only showing his prowess at ass-kicking in three excellent sequences spaced throughout the film, but pleasingly doing a lot more than you’d typically expect from a Hong Kong action star – his skills properly showcased and actually allowed to act in more than a one-note role.

As the pic rolls on it’s hard to escape thinking that the producers – including one Vin Diesel P.G.A. – have just tried to roll out a variant on the Fast & Furious formula by assembling a family of teammates, putting them through their paces, and replacing a car obsession with a gun fetish.

The result reeks of pandering to teenagers, and the brains trust behind the film not really getting what makes Diesel’s aforementioned franchise tick – long-running love for its characters peppered with genuinely spectacular absurdity.

As this sequel concludes, it even replicates recent Fast & Furious entries by teasing future characters and developments. Neither of which will get me back to endure another sequel.


‘xXx: The Return of Xander Cage’ movie times and 3D movie times