Resident Evil: Retribution 3D

Review: Resident Evil: Retribution 3D

14 Sep 12

Resident Cheeseburger

Milla Jovovich stars as Alice for the fifth time, and her husband Paul WS Anderson directs a 'Resident Evil movie for the third time. Anderson wasn't always a byword for "complete and utter formulaic Hollywood sh*te based on a video game." Despite loathing his 'Mortal Combat' movie, I enjoyed his follow-ups, 'Event Horizon' and 'Soldier' as well-made sci-fi action fare on a par with films such as Jean-Claude Van Damme vehicles, 'Timecop' or 'Universal Soldier.' But following those promising diversions, Anderson plunged headfirst into the garbage pail with the likes of 'AVP: Alien vs. Predator', 'Resident Evil' and its sequel 'Afterlife' and now 'Retribution' - the fifth 'Resident Evil' movie (sixth if you count the CGI movie 'Degeneration'... seventh if you count the short film 'Biohazard 4D-Executer'... eighth if you count the currently in-production CGI movie 'Damnation'...)
Like the 'Underworld' series (in which director Len Wiseman ogles his wife Kate Beckinsale), 'Resident Evil' centres largely on the premise that a director with little originality or vision can get his wife to wear very very tight pvc, leather or otherwise body-hugging S&M-style garb and fly around in slo-mo firing guns in a manner not just reminiscent of 'The Matrix' - but copied entirely from it...
So basically if you're a video-game playing fourteen year-old this is 'Citizen Kane.' If you're a film fan who expects just a modicum of character, narrative or sense - forget it. This is strictly a high-tech cartoon writ large. The explosions and flying debris look great in 3D, as does Jovovich - but to pretend there's anything new here is like going into McDonalds every day to order a cheeseburger and on day five expecting something surprising and new that you've never tasted before...
And that's it really. It's a fast-food movie. Nothing new. It's just quick, easy and about as entertaining or nutritious for the mind as French fries dipped in ketchup.
Still, Milla looks great and lots of things go boom and bang and kerrranggity-crash. In 3D. So, there is that...