Machete Kills

Review: Machete Kills

12 Oct 13

Great trailer - shame about the movie

Trailers are like kids. You love them, adore them, and then - they grow up. They leave You Tube and go into cinemas as full-grown movies and, sometimes, you just wish they'd show a glimmer of the promise, the excitement, the joy they had when they were just a few minutes long. Instead? They let you down, growing up into full-length letdowns like Robert Rodriguez's latest 'Machete.'

The original trailer was amongst the best of the great 'Grindhouse' trailers - a fun pastiche of tacky violent over the top exploitation genre flicks. Oh, how we hoped the full-length version would be as fun as Rodriguez's 'Planet Terror.' Instead, the first 'Machete' was a damp squib, barely living up to the fun and frolics promised by the trailer and squandering both its potential and its cast - with actors such as Robert de Niro given bugger all to do.

Now Danny Trejo's back in the titular role of Machete. Yes, he's back - and he's a mess. The best thing about this dire sequel are the cameos. Mel Gibson chewing scenery as the bad guy; Charlie Sheen a guaranteed giggle as the US President; Sophia Vergara with a machine gun bra; Lady Gaga being gaga alongside the likes of Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba and Cuba Gooding Jr. But, spot the star aside; it's a poorly executed, badly scripted, tired and bumpy ride that was so so much better as a two-minute trailer.

Like the "found footage" genre, grindhouse homage / pastiche films such as 'Hobo With a Shotgun' and 'Death Proof' have become tired pretty quickly. They're not dead genres yet - but if this is the quality we're to expect - they soon will be.

As for 'Machete Kills'? Time to hung up the blade, Danny and Rob. It was fun, for two-minutes.

Another case of great trailer - shame about the movie :(